HOW TO BEND YOUR BOSS by Rose 🌹 Ume

HOW TO BEND YOUR BOSS

I think there's no one I can't conquer.

I've always thought so and well, it has always worked for me.

I think that when people say no to people's requests, they're truly saying, "not that approach, try the next one."

But the problem is that those people aren't quick to grasp what the next one is or they just don't know.

Sometimes people aren't difficult, they're just stressed and you're there with more stress.

In NYSC camp, it is a taboo to get a kit exactly your size. I don't know which gods are custodians of this rule but I haven't seen or heard about anyone who got their complete sizes in everything. It's either you get a cap the size of the head of state or a mosquito size shorts (rarely, it's always on the big side)

In my own case, I got a jungle boot looking for a tenant. I could have sworn that man saw my future! 

I wore them for the swearing in and while people who I was privileged to be their WCW were awning and asking for pictures, I was in sifia pains. I was scheduled to join the protocol unit but well, I couldn't even arrange my steps, na to arrange State Coordinator seat? Wahala! 

After the ceremony, I decided I'd rather walk barefooted than wear that thing again! It's fatherland I came to serve, I didn't protest at Lekki Toll gate, so I moved. 

My Platoon leader couldn't help me, same with my platoon officer, same with every important person I had connected with. 

O-Y-O! 

That day, I decided to go to the kit store and face my demon. He was a fair complexioned middle age man whose face looked like it hoarded aroma from kitchen. He walked briskly and had a traditional catch up line when anyone tried to approach him, "maifriend moooove! We don't change kits here," afterwards you'd hear a bang. 

As I entered his magnificent presence, I started smiling, ah! Ezenmuo nekwa eze m o... How are you doing Sir? I hope work isn't too stressful? Eyah... You're working so hard. 

Oga was confused... Who's this wan dashing him kind words here and there? 

"Sir please, I sincerely hate to bother you. You're already working so hard that I can't even begin to think of giving you more stress. Please forgive me" 

Ah! (In his mind, I'm guessing something like, "say it Baby, even to the half of my kingdom" was ringing) 

Sir, something happened today, I almost fell into the ditch at the parade ground. I was supposed to handle a function too but I couldn't. I still feel dizzy from my shaking. It's just my jungle boot Sir, I got a bigger size and apart from being really oversized, I can't seem to find someone to change with. We have another function in two days and I was wondering if there's anything you can do to help me?"

After saying this, I lavished my alabaster box of smiles... Gear one, two and let's go unlimited please. 

The 'almighty' looked at me and said,"well, we don't usually do this but keep it there, let me see what I can do."

Bowing time...

I came out and sent him a text message of appreciation even when I wasn't sure he would actually do something about it. Somebody say commitment....! 

Two days later, I got a perfect size to the awe of my platoon members who had earlier been sent back and of course, I became a kit celebrity... Osheyyyy

If you like, say it's luck or because I'm a fine geh or because he was in a good mood that day, but I call it tactic.

Smile into any office and take them by storm! 

PS: If you have muscles like Mayweather and a quick temper or know someone that knows someone eh, ejor forgive me, is not you I was talking to.

© Africa's Premier Head Corrector

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DESPERATION

DESPERATION....WHAT GOOD ROLE CAN IT PLAY IN A RELATIONSHIP??.....

None!!

According to the oxford advanced learner's dictionary, Desperation is a situation where an individual is so conscious of getting something, to the extent that he or she can do anything to achieve the desired result. It's like a do or die stuff and a 'by all means' attitude.

What does this cankerworm have to do with our relationship with others, especially with an opposite sex? 

I discovered that 85%of people we have around are so desperate when it comes to a relationship. 

One of the ways to prove this is this: a young man saw a lady at a conference and liked her, he went to her and they exchanged phone numbers. After the conference, the young man walked the girl home. On reaching his own house,he called the girl on phone to know how she was faring. Before he slept that night, he called the lady on phone again to say goodnight and even sent her messages. First thing the next morning, he sent her messages and called to say goodmornin. During breakfast the same mrng, he called 2 knw what the girl would eat. That afternoon, he called to say good afternoon, and even sent messages.... This continued for so long a time. Now, if you were that girl, how would you feel? It's no more caring, it's now pestering. Thats what desperation does to a relationship. Dearie, take it easy with the people around you. Take time to build a loving relationship with them, not hurrying them as if your whole life depended on that relationship. Dnt ever appear desperate so that you dont lose your value... Most of all, try to know where you're wanted and stick there. Dont try to force anyone to love you, because you might end up making the worst mistake of your life..you are too big and precious to be tolerated. You should be appreciated.. Finally, the only one who you should be desperate and obsessed about your relationship with him is God. Anyone short of Him is absolute debasement to your personality and self esteem..

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Small Business Ideas for University / College Towns

Do you live in a town close that hosts high institutions and the town is dominated by students? Then below are the top ten business ideas for university or campus towns.

Towns and communities that have universities and other institutions within them usually have students forming a major fraction of their population. And for this reason, businesses that typically cater to students are in huge demand in such places.

If you live in a community that is dominated by university or college students, whether you are a student or not; you can benefit financially from the huge student population by starting a business that caters to students. Below are ten good examples of business ideas aimed at students

1. Laundry business

Students, like any other set of people, love to look good. But their tight school schedules usually does not give them enough free time to do their laundry, so they mostly to have this done for them. If you have no problems with getting your hands wet, then you should consider starting a laundry business. Fortunately, this business requires no technical knowledge or huge capital.

2. Desktop publishing centres

Desktop publishing centres in student-dominated environment make a lot of money by helping students format, print, edit, and design their assignments, reports, project works, and so on. In addition, students pay to have their tuition receipts and other vital documents printed from their school website whenever necessary. If you have a solid background in desktop publishing, then this business is for you.

3. Restaurant

Just as they usually don’t have time to do their laundry, students hardly have the time to cook their food. This explains why they turn to restaurants and fast food joints to fill their bellies whenever the need arises. And their need to eat every day leaves huge profit opportunities for restaurants and fast food joints.

If you have great culinary skills, then you should consider venturing into the restaurant business. Even if yours is not a student-dominated environment, this business thrives everywhere.

4. Stationeries

It goes without saying that stationeries sell well in school campuses and environments dominated by students. And the reason is obvious—students always need pens, pencils, rulers, and other stationery items. If you live in a student environment and would like to start a business that requires very little startup capital, then you may consider selling stationeries.

5. Sports bar

Students—mostly the males—have great enthusiasm for sports. You will see them flooding sports bars on weekends as well as weekdays on which high-profile sporting events are to be televised. If your blood boils with envy whenever you sight this, then chances exist that you are interested in the business. And if you have what it takes to take a plunge (money, time, interest, business sense, and other things), do so.

6. Photocopy centre

If you have ever been in a student-dominated environment before, you would have been awed at the rates at which students flood photocopy centres.

Virtually every day, the average student needs to make copies of pages of a textbook, a class note, an assignment, a document, or some other important piece. This explains why the demand for photocopying services is always huge in school campuses and environs.

7. Boutique

College and university students have a strong fashion sense.

The average student wants to dress to impress and could go to any length to achieve that—even if it requires frequent visits to the boutique. To entrepreneurs, this only means one thing: business opportunity for anyone interested in a boutique business.

8. Cyber cafe

Whether there is reliable internet connection in a student-dominated community or not, the demand for internet services among students will always be on the high side.

So, in an area with poor internet connection, starting a high-speed internet cyber cafe is a good business opportunity, as it fills a pressing need among students in that community, who will need to browse the web to pay their tuition online, research answers to assignments, and so on.

9. Book selling

What else do students do other than read books?

 So, the reason is obvious why textbooks and notebooks sell well in environments dominated by college and university students. If you want to start a very profitable business that caters to students, then you should consider opening a bookstore.

10. Supermarket

Just as is the case in other environments, a supermarket will be a very profitable venture in a student-dominated environment. This is because supermarkets sell a wide range of goods that are needed on a daily basis, such as snacks, personal care products, beverages, processed foods, cosmetics, and so on.

If you are living in a student-dominated environment and looking to start a business, then you may consider opening a supermarket. However, you can start small if you are on a little budget; your business will expand with time.

11.Start tutoring your fellow students

As a university or polytechnic student, you may be good in a particular course that your fellow students see as a challenge in their academic, organize a tutorial class for them and start tutoring them. Charge them a particular amount you wish to take from them. In higher institutions, especially in surveying and some engineering departments, most of the courses they teach is full of drawings, if you are good in drawing, help them out with the drawings and charge them for your service, when you can mostly achieve this is when the lecturer gives an assignment to be submitted in probably days or weeks time, the ones that are not really good in drawing will be lamenting on how to get the assignment done pending the submission date. Don’t sit down to watch them lamenting when you know that you can be a solution to their problem, get the assignment from them and get it done for them, charge the for the service, but make sure you charge the a moderate price so they can pay you, after all, they are also students like you.

12.Offer Transportation services for your fellow students

Why I’m bringing in this particular idea is that most of the tertiary institutions in Nigeria have two (2) or more campuses which will involve transporting from one campus to the other. Your dad might probably have an abandoned car which there is nothing really wrong with it. Get a mechanic to fix the car for you and use it for inter campus micro transportation business. The school might have a bus for this, but most of the students may not be comfortable going with it, they will rather pay you to transport them to the other campus for their academic activities. You must not allow this number two (2) means of getting extra money to interfere with your own academic programs, do it in your spare time and make sure you balance the business with your education not forgetting that the cardinal thing that brought you that campus was not to make money but for your academic

There are also other businesses such as: freelance writing, blogging, sewing, pet breeding, hair dressing and lots more.............just always be creative

.

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Roles of internet in our modern society

Today is the world of internet, No longer is it just a source of information but you can shop through the internet, pay your bills, plan your finances, avail online courses, find jobs, work from home, promote your business, reach to people etc. There is no denial to the fact that the internet has not only made our lives better but hassle free as well. Gone are the days when you used to waste hours in roaming around for shopping or standing in a queue for bills or getting the movie tickets. Now, you just have to go online and book your tickets and that too in less time.

The internet has definitely brought a huge revolution in every field thus reducing stress and enhancing the work quality. Some of the areas where the internet has made its powerful place are:-

Railways – All kinds of reservations for trains, flights, and hotels are made through the customized software of the railway. It requires the internet and the website can be accessed from any part of the world. Thus you need not wait for a long time to book the tickets but can do it from the comfort of your homes and offices. This saves a lot of time.

Finding jobs – Newspapers have become the traditional means to search the jobs as the internet provides updated details of the job openings whether government or private. Email notification option can be used to receive the emails regarding the jobs thereby keeping you updated with all kinds of openings.

Education – computers have become an important subject and taught to the kids from the very beginning. This is done so that the children develop the skills to use the computer as well as the internet when required. Now kids can download tutorials for their studies, join online classes and get involved in several activities through the internet.
Online courses are the next big change that allows the people to study and work both at the same time. This has been possible only through the internet.

Banks – This is the place where maximum use of this technology is being made. Use of banking software’s and applications is possible via the internet that not only increases efficiency but the work gets over soon. Thus the banks are able to satisfy the customers in every possible way. The Internet and mobile banking have emerged as a big step towards making things seamless for the people.

Business – Promotion has become easier with website becoming a great option to get visibility as well as credibility. You can now reach to a global audience and grab the marketplace for more business. Thus you are able to enjoy success and business expansion.

Connecting with people is easier – The social networking platforms like Facebook,Instagram, whats app, Twitter, Linked-in, Pinterest, Google plus etc are not only useful for business but personal contacts as well. You can easily make new friends and find your old pals and get connected with them.

Hence, the internet has certainly filled a wide gap and it is difficult to stay away from it. Do use the internet and find a solution to every problem.

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Why did a UNN final-year student commit suicide?

A student of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, was found dead in his room on Sunday in what has been declared as a suicide.

For the past few years, Tobechukwu was a student of Agricultural Economics at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka.

The Odenigwe community woke up On Sunday, 27th of November with one life, less. Tobechukwu was found hanging by a rope in his room, neck contorted at an awkward angle, dead.

Why did he take his own life?

One of his colleagues who would rather not be named, said Tobechukwu was famous for his incredible skill in electrical wiring. He had just been given a job to do at the Department of Linguistics at the University.

“I saw him this (Sunday) morning, he seemed to have a problem which he needed money to solve,” the colleague added.

His University's Dean of Student Affairs, Uju Umo, told Premium Times:

“I travelled for a burial last weekend and yesterday I got a text message saying a student had committed suicide.

It happened at Odenigwe, one of the host communities outside the school and I was told he left a suicide note apologising to his fellow gamblers."

Clearly, Tobechukwu had a gambling problem. Another one of his colleagues told Premium Times:

“The guy is an ardent gambler. He comes to British Lodge to gamble. He borrows money to gamble. And he has borrowed a lot of money just to gamble."

His last post on Facebook was about MMM:

“MMM is enriching lives of millions of Nigerians every day. If you care to join or you have any questions please send me a message or comment below.”

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11 School Articles That Reminds Us Of Growing Up

1. Ali and Simbi

Ali is a boy, Simbi is a girl. Mr. Salami is a man, Mrs. Salami is a woman.

Ali helps his father in rearing the cattle during holiday while Simbi helps her mother at their cotton farm.

2. Eze Goes To School

“Eze! Wake up!” Joseph hissed from beside me.

I groaned in protest as he whipped my blanket from around me. An especially cold draft wafted over my exposed body and I shivered. “Wetin dey worry you?” I growled sleepily.

3. Agbo Malika

Agbo Malaika Lived in the town of Lagun which was not far from Ibadan. He had so may friends. He was in primary four. Agbo was a lucky boy because his parents were rich.

One day, Agbo was sick while taking one of his exams. He contemplated telling the teacher that he was sick, but decided against it, because he felt the teacher would assume he was simply faking and the reason was that he did not know the answers to the questions. When he got home, his mom asked him about the exams and he told him about his illness. She said that he should have told her and she would have told him to stay back. When the results came out, he scored very low and when the teacher inquired, he chalked it up to his previous illness.

4. Owie the flute player

He faked his death because he wanted to see how much his people loved him and how they could not do without him. They gave him a fine burial but d casket contained banana peels instead. They got a new flute player and forgot about Owie. Owie was mad and came out of hiding. The king was angry and Owie was told to go back to the land of d dead. I think that should be in pry 6 reader. The page has the picture of Owie wanting to seize the flute from the new flute player who was dressed in white.

5. Mr. Nwosu on Christmas Day

Edet lives in Calabar, he is 8 years old, Every morning he goes to school,but in the evening he stays at home. His mother buys him books form the bookshop. Today is Friday, Edet and his cousins are eating chicken and rice.

7. Emeka, Wakama and Kunle

8. Malam Gandoki

9. ALAWIYE IWE

Did you actually read these books? I sure know you will want to get them again that is why we have gone extra miles to get this rare collection for your reading pleasures once again. They are good gift for your friends,  and business partners to be in their good book.

10. Tales by Moonlight

This was one of my favorite TV shows on NTA (Nigerian Television Authority) when I was a little girl. I looked forward to watching Tales by Moonlight every Sunday evening when ‘aunty’ told folktales to a group of boys and girls perched on the floor listening intently to her story. Each tale was enacted by actors (and some of the kids) where they played many animal roles (the folktales were full of tortoise stories) and the acting may have been poor (as someone pointed out to me recently) but I loved it. At the end of each tale, the kids took turns to tell 'aunty' what they learned from the story.

11. The OXFORD mathematical set

hope you guys used all this in school........cos i did 

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Cleaned By Dirt

I still remember vividly, the very first time i opened my eyes to this world, the men i saw, wearing white clothes like angels rejoicing over a new convert. The smile on their faces, the words they were whispering and the love that was spreading, i just knew i had arrived. I also remember the joy she felt when i was brought into her arms, the smile and the excitement, oh she must have really been very happy. Without a doubt the family i was born into was a wealthy one, which means i was with a silver spoon from birth. As i grew up, the love i was shown, the care i was given and the protection they gave me, it all made me feel very special, and indeed i was very special as i later got to know that i was the 1st and only child of my parents after several years of continuous prayers. God has indeed answered their prayers as i was a child any parents would wish for. i was cute, had a pointed nose and with a matching pinklips to fit. the fact is i was just too handsome. I remember My 1st birthday celebration, i remember the well decorated big beautiful cake, the crowd that came, the joy and the happiness that filled the atmosphere and the gifts i was presented with. I started the best school around my state contesy of my parents, they always wanted the best for me, but the more love i was shown the more opportunity the devil in me had to grow. As time went on i had to privilege to meet alot of people, bad, good and evil people. I felt i couldnt learn anything from the good people as they were always acting ''too holy'' , So i settled for the bad. At age 12 i was already a curtist, although my parents had always tried to bring me closer to God but i always try resisting, and been the observing parents that they are, they had already noticed how wayward i was becoming but i alway found a way to cover up for myself. My parents had always pampered me, granted me anything i wished infact their love for me was unimaginable. i knew this, that was why i was proud and never took regards for the poor, i felt tomorrow was sure, my parents where rich so what else should i be afraid of?? Years later, i got admission in the university of my choice after a succesful secondary school life, the admission was easy cause of the connections my father had. Now i felt the life has began, my parents are no longer here with me to control my life. I now have the chance to flirt, club and do whatsoever i wish. Months in the university and everybody already wanted to be close to me the ladies on the other hand were already throwing themselves at me. Although the advice my mother gave me was still very fresh on my heart, the temptation was high and the urge was increasing . The devil that has always been growing in me bursted out one day and before i knew it i was already flirting with them girls. I would love, bleep and then dump. This became a game i enjoyed playing. I was in the middle of one of my numerous adventure one day when i received a phone call, i never wanted to pick at first as i thought that person to be a pleasure killer... I picked the phone frowning.. ''Hello!'', i answered. ''Hello, is this the son of Mr. and Mrs peter??'', asked the caller. ''Yes, yes any problem??'', i replied. ''My name is doctor jenny, i am calling from LC Hospital where.... '', '' what happened to my parents? Are they okay are they hurt?'' i interropted. '' They are in a critical condition, the accident was really bad'' she answered. "give me the location, i'm coming right away'', she did and i hurriedly got up from bed. '' are you okay?? '' the girl i was with asked, what a stupid question (i thought to my self) '' my parents were involved in a gasly motor accident, and they are at the hospital lying almost liveless, Of cause i'm okay'', i shouted. '' sorry dear, but where are you going now?? '' , ''to the club, you idiot!! '', ''stop insulting me naw, anyway should i wait for you at home or i should......'', ''get outtttt'' , i screamed. As frightened as she was she quickly got dressed and went out, i too not long after she left hurriedly came out and drove to the location she navigated. Soon after, i arrived at the hospital, i made inquiries and i was directed to were my parents laid. Right there i was praying they don't die, i knew i was a sinner but i just had no other option i prayed for God's forgiveness so he can answer my prayer's for my parents recovery.. I was praying in tears like a true born again. The doctor came and told me to go home and come back tomorrow and hope for the best. Yes, i'm optimistic, i've promised to give my life to him, forever love him and serve only him if he do just this little favour am asking of him, my mum had always Told me God is a mercifull.. I got back to the hostel, i couldnt sleep that night i just kept reminding God ... Till i heard loud, the sound of the alarm. Wow, so it's morning already?? I must have slept off..

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