I think there's no one I can't conquer.
I've always thought so and well, it has always worked for me.
I think that when people say no to people's requests, they're truly saying, "not that approach, try the next one."
But the problem is that those people aren't quick to grasp what the next one is or they just don't know.
Sometimes people aren't difficult, they're just stressed and you're there with more stress.
In NYSC camp, it is a taboo to get a kit exactly your size. I don't know which gods are custodians of this rule but I haven't seen or heard about anyone who got their complete sizes in everything. It's either you get a cap the size of the head of state or a mosquito size shorts (rarely, it's always on the big side)
In my own case, I got a jungle boot looking for a tenant. I could have sworn that man saw my future!
I wore them for the swearing in and while people who I was privileged to be their WCW were awning and asking for pictures, I was in sifia pains. I was scheduled to join the protocol unit but well, I couldn't even arrange my steps, na to arrange State Coordinator seat? Wahala!
After the ceremony, I decided I'd rather walk barefooted than wear that thing again! It's fatherland I came to serve, I didn't protest at Lekki Toll gate, so I moved.
My Platoon leader couldn't help me, same with my platoon officer, same with every important person I had connected with.
O-Y-O!
That day, I decided to go to the kit store and face my demon. He was a fair complexioned middle age man whose face looked like it hoarded aroma from kitchen. He walked briskly and had a traditional catch up line when anyone tried to approach him, "maifriend moooove! We don't change kits here," afterwards you'd hear a bang.
As I entered his magnificent presence, I started smiling, ah! Ezenmuo nekwa eze m o... How are you doing Sir? I hope work isn't too stressful? Eyah... You're working so hard.
Oga was confused... Who's this wan dashing him kind words here and there?
"Sir please, I sincerely hate to bother you. You're already working so hard that I can't even begin to think of giving you more stress. Please forgive me"
Ah! (In his mind, I'm guessing something like, "say it Baby, even to the half of my kingdom" was ringing)
Sir, something happened today, I almost fell into the ditch at the parade ground. I was supposed to handle a function too but I couldn't. I still feel dizzy from my shaking. It's just my jungle boot Sir, I got a bigger size and apart from being really oversized, I can't seem to find someone to change with. We have another function in two days and I was wondering if there's anything you can do to help me?"
After saying this, I lavished my alabaster box of smiles... Gear one, two and let's go unlimited please.
The 'almighty' looked at me and said,"well, we don't usually do this but keep it there, let me see what I can do."
Bowing time...
I came out and sent him a text message of appreciation even when I wasn't sure he would actually do something about it. Somebody say commitment....!
Two days later, I got a perfect size to the awe of my platoon members who had earlier been sent back and of course, I became a kit celebrity... Osheyyyy
If you like, say it's luck or because I'm a fine geh or because he was in a good mood that day, but I call it tactic.
Smile into any office and take them by storm!
PS: If you have muscles like Mayweather and a quick temper or know someone that knows someone eh, ejor forgive me, is not you I was talking to.
© Africa's Premier Head Corrector
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